Is it true that Nutella is a ballet superfood?*
Indeed. This carefully guarded secret was brought to light recently when a stash of recipes was discovered in the Vaganova Ballet Academy’s kitchen archives. It turns out that since the 1960s, the Academy kitchen has served 2 tablespoons of Nutella per day to its students. Like morning medicine, students line up for their spoonful before technique class, and then again before bedtime.
The Russians have closely guarded this secret while crediting the school’s curriculum and training for generations of exquisite dancers. How clever! Who would have ever guessed that a simple chocolate and hazelnut spread could produce such astonishing results as increased multiple turns, tighter battements in petite allegro, and the totally unexpected, guaranteed “perfect fifth” closing to double tours and entrechat six.
Whether slathered on fruits, breads, or eaten off of a really big spoon, Nutella has been found to increase your likelihood of landing a triple tour en l’air and closing those 32 foutees with something fancier than a double.
How can I eat it? (How can you not?)
- Melted in hot milk for a wintery treat
- Spread on crackers
- As a dip for cut up fruit
- On warm toast with peanut butter (oh la la!)
- and the list goes on…it’s endless really.
Now that the cat is out of the bag, all dancers can benefit from this secret weapon. It’s my most fervent recommendation that you drop what you’re doing and hit the closest supermarket, armed with cash and a can-do attitude. (Don’t be shy. Go for it. As much as you can carry!) Fill that pantry full of this powerful, all-natural superfood.
Finally, be sure to get your “Vaganova Academy Recommended” daily allotment of two heaping tablespoons. (That’s bigger than a teaspoon, FYI.) Then, watch your legs lift, your turns whirl, and your jumps soar.
*Too good to be true, alas. Happy April Fool’s Day!